Stay Here
by PageMisstress
Summary: Kai can't sleep, and thinks of Tyson. Rated T mostly for hints, but also for mild swearing. WARNING: yaoi KaiTyson


Kai's thoughts on Tyson and looove

**Kai's thoughts on Tyson and looove. : 3 nothing depressing (I hope). **

**Disclaimer: blah blah do not own, blah blah, etc. etc. **

**Warning! This story contains the wonderful yaoi, or boyxboy love. Don't like it, don't read it, don't flame it. **

**Stay Here**

Once again, I am unable to sleep. The heat is choking, as though it is trying to suffocate me.

I sit up. I'm wide awake. It's as if I have fire running inside my veins, not blood. I get up, lifting the covers off and gently sliding out, trying not to wake the boy sleeping beside me.

Tyson... My angel...

I can't help it. A slow smile drifts over my face as I stare down at him.

I will never understand how this boy can be so wild and energetic (**very** wild, I might add) one minute, then dead to the world the next. I struggle to pull on my trousers as silently as I can, and tiptoe over to the hotel balcony. Sliding open the door, I relax as the cold air caressing my burning skin. Tyson, however, grumbles in his sleep and curls into a ball. I close the door quickly; knowing that if he wakes up, all hope of a quiet night will be lost. I lean my forearms on the railing, looking out at the city.

My mind drifts to Tyson, as it so often does. God, how I love him. Everything about him is wonderful. I will never figure out why he loves me. **Me**, Kai Hiwatari, coldest bastard in Russia (and believe me, we have quite a few) and possibly Asia (1). I'm terrified that someday, Tyson will come to his senses and leave me, though I know I'd deserve it. I've done so many terrible things. Tyson thinks he knows about them, but he only knows parts of it.

I've taken from those who couldn't afford to give, bullied, terrorized, destroyed entire lives. I've betrayed him time and time again, and yet every time I come crawling back, he welcomes me with open arms, never judging, never questioning, always accepting and understanding. I love him for that. I know I would do anything for him. I figured this out a long time ago, but I wish I'd found it out sooner. I could have saved him so much heartache.

I never understood exactly how much pain I put him through when I left. I thought he didn't care whether I stayed or not. Tyson's apparent lack of concern had always been a thorn in my side. I couldn't stand the thought that Tyson didn't return my feelings.

It's amazing how wrong one person can be.

It was the fourth year I'd known Tyson, and being me I'd left again. I didn't have another team I was going to join, I just told him, on no uncertain terms, that I wasn't going to be on his team this year. Not at all.

I dropped the bomb in the morning and was out by lunch. By the time evening had rolled around, I was bored and (though I would never had admitted it at the time) lonely. I couldn't stop thinking about the look on Tyson's face when I told him I wasn't staying. I decided to take a walk to clear my head.

I heard it first: choking, hiccupping sobs. Curious, I followed the sound to a clearing, where I saw the crier.

_Tyson..._

To this day I remember the feeling I got when I realized that I was the one who had caused this.

Imagine, if you will, someone putting your heart in a blender and pushing frappe, while your insides are sucked out of a point somewhere near the base of your spine and your veins are pumped full of ice, yet somehow you're still alive.

Worse than that.

He was sitting on a bench, shaking with the effort of staying quiet. He had curled up into a ball, head resting on his knees.

_Oh god... _I thought. _He does care... What have I __**done**_

"Kai..." For a moment I'd thought I had imagined it, but no, Tyson ground out my name again. "Kai..." He choked back a sob. "Why? Why did you have to **go**? Please... don't do this again...W-why do you always have to l-leave?"

A good question, I realized. Why **did **I keep leaving? "Kai..." he whimpered again. "Please come back. **Please.** I'll do anything."

I swallowed dryly, knowing I had to fix this. I took a deep breath, and stepped out from behind the safety of the tree. Gathering my shaken wits, I headed over.

"Tyson." He froze, and slowly looked up. His eyes were filled with so many emotions: terror, hate, fear, worry, hope, love... I was overwhelmed by the desire to do something, **anything**, to make Tyson smile again. But I was also paralyzed by fear. I was so afraid that he would hate me, that this would be one time too many, the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.

Hesitantly, I reached out and wiped the tears away.

"Don't cry." I whispered. "Please." He only stared at me, as though he was too afraid to do anything. "I... I never meant... to hurt you..." Tyson glared at me. It felt like ice shards being rammed into my heart.

"You didn't mean to hurt me, and you left? What's that supposed to mean?" He pushed my hand away. "That's supposed to make everything better how?" I felt like I was being crushed. I needed to say something, anything, but I couldn't find the words.

"Answer me Kai!"

"I... I can't..."

"What do you mean, you can't?"

"I... can't! I don't know how! They never taught us how to do this, they only taught us how to hide how we felt! I can't... I don't know how to say it! I know how I feel and I know that if I tell you, it'll make things right, or at least more right than are now, but I don't know how and it isn't **fair**!"

Tears were starting to fall down my cheeks, but I ignored them. I remember he looked so surprised, and confused. I reached out again, taking his face into my hands. This time he did not pull away, and I kissed him, slowly, gently.

Every detail of that first kiss has been engrained into my mind forever. The sharp intake of breath before my lips met his, the way he slowly relaxed and kissed me back. His hands reaching up and covering mine; his scent, his taste, everything about him, washing over me in one perfect moment.

At last we parted, and I let my hands drop, afraid to look at him.

"Kai..." he whispered again, this time lovingly. I met his eyes shyly, and he smiled. The sight warmed me from head to toe, and with it came the realization that even though I made him cry, I could also make him smile. I wrapped my arms around him, holding him close.

"I love you." I murmured. He cuddled up to me, smiling softly.

"I love you, too."

"I don't want you to cry anymore." I whispered. "I just... want you to smile."

"I will... if you do something for me."

"Anything."

"Stay with me. Don't leave anymore." I smiled and rested my forehead against his, losing myself in those deep blue eyes.

"I promise."

Kai?" I am catapulted back into the present by a gentle voice behind me. Turning I see Tyson, rubbing his eyes with one hand. Oh, he's so cute. He shivers as the wind picks up.

"It's **cold** out here. What are you doing?"

"I was hot. I couldn't sleep." He looks surprised.

"Really? I thought for sure I'd worn you out with our... "activities"." I laugh. "Maybe I'm not trying hard enough."

"You're trying plenty hard enough you little sex fiend." I reply.

"Not if you're still awake, I'm not."

"Tyson, you are ridiculous." I inform him. He wraps his arms around my waist.

"But I love you." He puts on his bambi eyes. "**Please?**" I groan and give him a shove, though not hard enough to make him let go.

"**No**." Another breeze blows by.

"Jeeze it is **freezing** out here. Let's go inside." I open my mouth to protest and he kisses me. I hate when he sneaks up on me, but it's hard to be mad at someone whose kisses make your toes curl up. He smiles and I pull him closer, cuddling him. How I ever left this, I don't know. But since that night in the park, I've stared true to my word, and I've never strayed from his side. Another breeze and he shivers, pressing his face into my chest.

"Come on, let's go inside." I tell him.

"**Finally**." He says. We go inside and I turn the AC up. Arms slide around my waist and Tyson hugs me from behind.

"C'mon." He whispers, his breath hot on my ear. "Let's go to bed." His hands stroke my chest, letting my know that he has no intention of sleeping, which suits me just fine. I let him drag me onto the bed.

We lay in a tangle, arms and legs intertwined, gazing into each other's eyes.

"Tyson..." I whisper.

"Mm-hm?" he murmurs, almost asleep. I kiss him.

"I love you." He smiles.

"I love you too, Kai." he whispers. I kiss him again. He rests his head on my shoulder. Its times like these that I'm almost overwhelmed by my love for Tyson. I hold him tight, almost afraid that he'll slip away. I know that he's asleep now, but I say it anyway.

"I'm never going to leave you." To my surprise, he's not asleep, and he hugs me a little tighter.

"Good." he murmurs. "But if you did, I'd just go find you again." I smile.

**(1). This is not meant to be insulting. I do not think that most Russians are cold, heartless bastards. It's just a joke. Please don't kill me. **

**Innit sweet? Awww... **

**I love these two. It's so easy to write for them. **

**This was written in present tense (not counting the flashback, which is in past tense), which I totally suck at, so if I messed up at all LET ME KNOW! Criticism will only make me stronger. **

**This does not count for flamers, who are neither helpful nor welcome. Be gone with you!**

**Everyone else, press the little button and drop me a line! **


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